Derm Attack

I went to the dermatologist to talk about some options for my acne scars. They aren't like deep scars, but red spots on my face. I look like a freakin' leopard when I have no makeup on. I'm already on a system to "lighten" the spots, but I wanted to see if I could do something more immediate. I was thinking microdermabrasion, maybe even some kind of high-tech peel. I have been on medications for acne for a few months now, and I have been SO happy with my face since getting on the meds. So anyways..

I get more and more excited sitting in the waiting room, looking at all the dermatologist's awards and recognitions. She's REALLY gonna do the trick, I just know it!

I finally get called back to a room, and I tell the nurse what I'm looking for, and show her the "spots" on my face that are extremely red. I ramble about how I've had a microdermabrasion before and how great it was and blah blah blah. She smiles and nods and asks if I wear sunscreen and more blah blah blah.

The doc finally comes in, takes a look at me and gives me the look my mom used to give me when she saw a "B" on my report card- the "this is the best you've got?" look. She asks about my meds I'm on (which her own partner put me on) and talks about my sunscreen usage- which I have been extremely good at applying for the last three years (probably too good, almost Bella Swan-type good).

When I think back now about our appointment, the words "microdermabrasion" and "peel" were never even mentioned. HOWEVER, the words "botox" and "laser" came out of her mouth a good 3-4 times. I'm 26. Years. Old. Botox? Ummmm no thanks, your partner told me that every woman should be on a Retin-A cream by the time they are 30 and it would really prevent wrinkles. I was 25 when I started, so I thought I was ahead of the game! BOTOX?! Then she handed me a little mirror and told me all the little places she thought I needed it, especially as a "preventative". Mmm-hmmm ok, yeah I see the makings of the *elevens* in between my eyes and the creases in my forehead. The nurse punched in some numbers on the calculator and spouted out, "botox for you today would be $300."

I about peed myself.

So the doctor keeps going, and then she says, "you should REALLY consider getting some IPL Laser treatments". Laser... Interesting... This sounds way more high-tech and new and cooler and probably faster and most likely more effective than a silly ole microdermabrasion or peel. Now THIS I'm interested in. How much?? The nurse types in numbers on her little calculator again and then spouted out, "for the full package, which you would definitely need, you can start today and it would be $1300."

I about crapped myself.

At this point I'm getting a little dizzy, and I'm starting to lose feeling in my fingers from gripping the sides of the table I'm propped up on so tightly. So the doctor keeps going, and says, "If I were you I would even think about hfksjkjsldklsklsljlkkldkfl....." This is when I totally zoned out. I looked helplessly at the nurse, who is suddenly starting to resemble Dr. Evil's little assistant (Frau Farbissina) in the first Austin Powers movie. She's already punching more numbers in the calculator, when I finally say, "Ok, well this is a lot to consider, I'll do my research and come back as soon as I can." The doc of course starts to tell me the research has been done my many powerful doctors and, well, researchers throughout the world. At this point I just need some air, and I'm considering sprinting out of here without passing checkout.

"I gotta go. I, um, I..... I have an appointment."

That's pretty much the best excuse I could come up with to get out of that little room. Not very smooth by the way, telling your appointment that you have another apointment. Needless to say, they got no money from me that day and I am pretty sure I got a little stamp or sticker on my file that just says "she's weird" or "this is one of the crazies". So I'm still on the search for a nice little spa or med-spa around here where I can just get a dang microdermabrasion or a dang peel. I don't wanna end up looking like THIS-